Day in the Life

23, married, and doing just fine.

I’m back. For this post. To vent.  I know, I know you missed me.

So you might have seen that post “23 things you should do instead of getting engaged at 23” floating about on Facebook. I know I did. And guess what? I’m 23, married, and I’m still doing many of those things. CRAZY I tell you.

Okay so yeah, we got married young. 22 and 23 isn’t ideal in this society. Gasp! We didn’t live together before marriage, we dated for ONLY 3 years before marriage, and oh my gosh.. we STILL don’t know who we really are, what we’re doing, or what we’ll be doing in the next year. But here’s the thing, we’re doing it together.We’re figuring out this crazy thing called life TOGETHER and side by side. I know it’s a crazy thought, but you really don’t need to go through life alone… and there’s nothing wrong with going through it with someone by your side.

Here’s the thing, you don’t need to have everything settled down before you’re married. We set our wedding date before we had jobs. We were very blessed and lucky to get jobs right out of college, but we still would’ve been married on May 4 whether or not both of us had those jobs. We have no idea who the heck we are. We’re 23 and 24! Goodness. Who really knows who they are until way later in life? Or ever for that matter?

I don’t feel like marriage is a “cop-out”. I’m not hiding behind my husband and I don’t think the world is too big or too scary to deal with alone. I’d like to think I’m a pretty independent person. I have my own friends, hang out with said friends without my husband, and come home to a smiling face asking how my day was. I didn’t throw away any of my friendships or dreams to get married. I have someone who encourages my dreams and has brought me new friendships.

And the argument about the divorce rates being so high for people who get married young? We live in a society that divorce is the norm. Issues? Let’s get a divorce. The crazy thing about marriage is it’s a SACRAMENT. That means, it lasts forever. Issues? We deal with them. Fights? Who doesn’t get in fights? At the end of the day, he’s the one I chose to be with the rest of my life. If we have issues down the road, we won’t turn to divorce. We made a life-long commitment. Apparently that’s too insane to think about.

You may think this is just dumb nonsense coming from a 23 year old newlywed still in her honeymoon phase. However, I’d like to think that marriage is more than just a cop-out or for people who are too scared to go through life themselves. I’d like to think it’s for people ready to take on life TOGETHER. Crazy, isn’t it?

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10 Comments

  1. I think this is anything BUT “dumb nonsense” – I think it’s awesome! So true – and you are “wise beyond your years” (both age and married years) :).

    I often say I think part of why the divorce rate is so high is because people are trying to blend two lives into one instead of building one life together!

    Keep preachin’ girl!!! Prayers for you and Jim :)

    • Aw thanks, Rebecca!

  2. Love this article.

    I think the original poster knows a lot of people who married for all the wrong reasons who also happened to be young. So do I. I also know that younger people are more likely to marry for the wrong reasons. Because immaturity.

    But that doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t get married young or that early marriages are doomed to failure. I got married at 21 and she was 20. Was it easy? Not always. We’ve fought and we’ve worked things out. But it’s worth it. And spending my 20s with the woman I love has been far better than being “free and single”.

    If you find the one you want to spend your life with at a young age, go for it.

    • Perhaps that is what she is seeing, but I don’t get why she has to bash people who get married young. We were a year out of college, both had stable jobs, and I’d like to think pretty mature. Making a blanket statement about 20-somethings who get married is more likely than not going to get some responses ;)
      Sometimes being young sucks (really it does) and not having the stability that older couples might have is a disadvantage. But I wouldn’t change anything for the world!

  3. Well I didn’t get married til I was almost 30 but when I was 23 I couldn’t imagine getting married at 29, that sounded so old to me but that’s how it worked out. I always said I would have to date someone for a full year before we ever got engaged. I’m not even sure I lasted 9 months of dating with Ryan before we were engaged.
    I’ve never been a fan of “things to do before your 20, 30 etc”. Life happens when it happens and I like to just go with what makes me happy.

    • I firmly believe that when you meet the person you want to marry, it doesn’t matter your age. Whether you’re 20 or 30.. you found that person to be with. The original article pretty much bashes people for getting married young saying their relationship is something to hide behind and that they’re too scared to handle life on their own. I’d like to think that it’s someone helping me through the tough parts of life, not a person to hide behind. I don’t want people to think we got married young because we were too scared to deal with life alone!
      And yes I agree with life happens when it happens!

  4. Alex

    I love this post! I think it is very well written and very insightful. I think a lot of people forget that everyone and every couple is different and do things in their own time and in different ways. I think you did a very nice job of putting this out there through your own experience.

    • Thank you! Thanks for visiting!

  5. Love love and love!! I like what you said about not hiding behind your husband, because I have gotten inferences of doing that from others.
    And the thing with divorce, preach it sista! I think many in our culture are so afraid of that kind of intense commitment, sad, but I’m glad more young women like you are rising up to be a witness of God’s love THROUGH your marriage:)
    Happy New Year!

  6. Great post! We got married just over 2.5 years ago and we were both 23 at the time. Of course some people thought we were too young but when you know it’s right and you feel God calling you to it then why wait? We may not know exactly what the future holds but then again, no one really does. Everyone finds their special someone at different points in their lives but when you do, it is so wonderful to be able to figure out the rest together :)

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