Why Marriage Scares Me
As we keep nearing the date of our wedding, I can’t help but to be a little nervous. I mean, that’s a huge change in one’s life, who wouldn’t be? I’ve been extremely non-chalant about most of the planning, trying my hardest not to be a bride-zilla. I’m also trying to not worry about little details that pertain to the day but instead focus on the marriage itself. However, there have been some things that have been said to me that can’t help but make me a bit scared.
1. They tell me I’m getting married too young. Well, I know plenty of people who are happily married for 20+ years who got married at my age (my mother included!) I know that this isn’t something I should be worried about, but with a culture of divorce, it’s still nerve-wracking! I keep telling people that we’re doing everything we can to have a successful marriage (marriage prep, reading through books, trying to talk about opinions on children, etc.) but I still get told that “none of that matters”. Who wants to think they’re entering a marriage that isn’t going to last?
2. They tell me that we should get a pre-nup. Okay.. what exactly for? Between the two of us, we don’t really own much (except we’ll have a house in a month), but I have such a strong opinion against this. Even if we were older and had more things, it still makes no sense. Why would you go into a marriage thinking it will end? I’ve also heard you have to “protect” your things. I mean, I’m entering into this Sacrament with someone who I love and have to worry about him stealing my stuff? If you think about it that way, doesn’t that sound a bit ridiculous?
3. None of our friends are married. Seriously, it seems like we’re going to be the only ones out of our group of friends. It’s weird, and scary. Are things going to change when we’re married and they’re not? I never really had married friends that I hung out with on a consistent basis. I personally don’t think it’ll change any, but who knows what my friends are going to think!
4. NFP just scares me, period. (That’s kind of like a pun!) I’ve been charting for a few months and have gotten extremely frustrated and now I’m really nervous that I’m going to do it wrong or we’re going to mis-chart or something crazy will happen. Or that something is seriously wrong with me (yes, I still freak out about that). I know I should trust my body and God, but I tend to get nervous about almost absolutely everything.
5. That we don’t know how to fight. I’m not even joking. We’ve been together for 3 years and have hardly fought at all. I know that’s mostly a good thing but I’m so scared for the day that something extremely serious comes up and I won’t know how to handle it. Plus I have a past of well, not fighting the best (or the most respectful). I don’t want to think about us fighting, but I know it’s going to happen sometime!
6. I’m going to have issues with converting. More on this later, but lately, I’ve been really upset about leaving the Lutheran church. When I went home and we went as a family, I was almost in tears thinking that it just wouldn’t be the same after I converted. I know it’ll be nice to be able to go to Mass with Jim and take communion with him, but there’s still a lot that’s with that. I’ll probably write another post about this sometime.
7. That we budgeted wrong. We seriously spent weeks drawing out a budget for us (paying for the house, our cars, my loans, etc.) But I’m so scared that we are going to incur some ridiculous expense and be really screwed. I should trust that we put the right numbers down (especially since most of them we over-shooted just in case), but budgeting is a big deal!
8. That we’re never going to see each other. We only see each other on weekends now, and we both (unfortunately) travel for work. I’m really nervous that we’re going to be that married couple that only gets to see each other on weekends and that is something that I don’t want to be!
I’m assuming most of these things are ridiculous and/or crazy. But I felt like getting it out there because perhaps some of you married ladies (or gentlemen) can tell me a story or just tell me that I’m being irrational.
- Posted in: Wedding